Neighbors with Automatic Weapons…A Bad Thing?


Dear Jerkwad Neighbor:

 How are you?  I hope you finally got some sleep last night…it’s nice to know someone did. 

Can I share a teeny secret with you and what I can only assume was your posse: waking up to the sound of automatic gunfire at 3 am does not make for a sleep filled evening.  In fact, one might even construe that such behavior would easily be classified as just plain rude. 

One, my husband and I do not respond well to being startled as a form of awakening.  I don’t even like birds chirping outside my bedroom window, so imagine my displeasure at the sound of gunfire.  Two, I don’t appreciate laying on my back wondering what the ethical, to say nothing of the proper etiquette, in dealing with random gunfire. 

I did consider calling the police; however, the idea of being seen talking to the police, well as we all know, might not be the wisest thing I could be seen doing.  But if you persist in this unseemly matter, I most likely will overlook the lack of wisdom.

I would be tickled pink if you could refrain from such an utterly male form of juvenile expression.  I hate to be sexist—and I do so hope you do too—but I know you are a guy.  Most angry anti-social girls are more mouthy than armed.  Guns are such unpleasant things—believe me, I would be irritated by loud mufflers or even loud shouting at 3 in the morning, but less so than I would be hearing gunfire.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Your neighbor.

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Published in: on December 12, 2009 at 3:19 AM  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. oh dear…this is pretty disconcerting!!


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